June 2009
“(914): And, I saw Emily’s panties. How? She doesn’t sit like a lady.”
– texts from last night
May 2009
“Pity the would-be Romeo who earnestly confesses middlebrow tastes: sometimes,...”
– Essay About Love and Literary Taste - Books - Review - New York Times
“TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT
Twitter Updates * Its not that we don’t have an...”
– texts from last night
“(201): At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says,...”
– texts from last night
“(216): I’m at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with...”
– texts from last night
the crying may simply have to do with the fact that you’re stuck in cleveland, ohio.
“(510): he said he didn’t have a condom.
(415): and you said?
(510): that...”
– texts from last night
“(916): My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him....”
– texts from last night
“(410): so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower...”
– texts from last night
Ten Years Ago
bowlingalleylawyer:
nashvilleneedsmoremetaphors:
I was married on May 29th, 1999. I was 24. That’s an incredibly young age for anyone to be married, and if I’m perfectly honest I’d say ill-advised. It wasn’t a shotgun wedding or anything…we were just young, in love, and nuts. Nevertheless, I don’t regret it for a second. I’m still in love with her.
Nine years ago today, every single one of...
Robert: Why is there a broken condom wrapper in my closet?
Robert: Did I have sex in here?
Robert: Maybe someone else had sex in here...
Robert: And didn't invite me?
Robert: Boy, that was rude of them.
“Collaborative Reporting Tools Get tips, leads, and story ideas from the sources...”
– Collaborative Reporting Tools | Publish2
“We heard from numerous sources that confirmed the news that Michelle...”
– PrairieMod
sadness.
“But then I read Sam Schulman’s recent Weekly Standard piece in which he...”
– Jezebel - How Social Conservatives Are Ruining Marriage - Keep the change
SEX: having it in the spirit of unity since 1999.
“Je cherche un homme, un homme, un homme
Un Pierre, un Paul, un Jacques ou Tom...”
– Eartha Kitt - Je Cherche Un Homme Lyrics
“(337): it’s not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.”
– texts from last night
“(267): i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.”
– texts from last night
I'm not drinking...yet.
shorterexcerpts:
malty:
I asked my sister about my Sabrina the Teenage Witch question and she asked me how much I had to drink. Its only 8:16 in the morning….
But in Australia it’s already Friday.
Sperm has now officially been proven to have... →
shorterexcerpts:
bmichael:
tristn:
up-schist-creek:
Men came to that conclusion ages ago, but are nonetheless enerjizzed by scientific proof.
A new line of facial products has semenly emerged from the study.
Orgasming on faces. Orgasming on faces. Not demeaning now because women should look young. Orgasming on faces.
“Damn honey, the inside of your mouth looks the same as it did when...
my friend gave me a pad of sixty blank pro-con lists for graduation. i’ve already used at least ten.
i have a whole shelf full of pro-con lists at work. i’m fairly sure my therapist would have a field day.
“And if you can’t say yes, answer anyway. Because I’d rather live with the answer...”
– via: I wrote this for you (via kari-shma) (via quote-book)
“Kate Hudson is in a “risky romance” because Yankee Alex Rodriguez...”
– reason ten billion+1 why i <3 Jezebel - This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie “Fight” In Public; Jon & Kate Kids Suffer - Brad PItt